shit

i missed posting yesterday.

i totally blame adam, eddie, and derek.

announcing...

my apartment party for the evening of 8/27. block that out on your outlooks.

support the arts

eddie (and derek) created a tshirt based on adam's idea. buy one, and support the tshirt arts.

my idea for a series of tshirt involves cancer. and cancer isn't funny at all. in public.

just posting to keep the streak alive

nt. srly.

i'm rooting for the nerd


[20:08] will: why am i watching average joe?
[20:30] adam: average joe! you must be bored
[20:30] will: eating dinner
[20:30] will: it is the season finale too
[20:31] will: you know i'm a slut for fake drama
[20:31] adam: haha
[20:31] adam: yes indeed


oh my god

it's so hot out i thought i was going to lose a testicle out there.

willy wonka

it was a weird movie but i liked it. the humor was a bit on the dark side. johnny depp was... johnny depp.

gene wilder was the better wonka though. gene could sing.

posting

just to keep the streak alive

oh yes i want one

it's rasterbating on a larger scale.

and the competition is over

lance: hay guys, thx for playing. gg, rly.
not-team-discovery: :(

murderball, again!

so murderball was everything i remembered it to be.

pete and anand thought it was excellent. it was a triumph of the human spirit, in reinforced wheelchairs.

one thing is not like the other

look closely.

dan the band: the concert

well, we waited two hours. then they did an hour and fifteen minute set including two encore songs.

it was well worth $20 for their set. but the fact that we waited two hours SUCKED.

their set was hilarious. i can't even describe what happened for an hour and fifteen minutes. this is their album at amazon. check out their samples, especially "total eclipse fo the heart."

<3

lol oh my

so

something that nobody mentioned about bush's selection to the supreme court: the guy is 50 years old. if he isn't a moderate (which i don't think he is), he'll be screwing over generations of progressive politics. like 30 years worth of screwing.

just a thought.

the dan band

apparently, the dan band will be at the trocadero this thursday for a show.

yes, their only claim to fame was their fucking awesome rendition of "total eclipse of the heart" in the "old school" movie.

i may go.

this should be entertaining

to watch unfold.

p.s. this sucks.

still

on pace to have a post on every day of the calendar

winners don't do drugs. stay in school.

that's got to hurt his feelings

i never thought

watching cycling (le tour de france) on tv was so awesome.

my only thing is that we should invade france and force them to televise this in high definition + widescreen. seriously, guys.

oh, and take their women too.

heresy

i wanted this shirt. $20. ok, i can swing $20 for a design i like. i mean, it's death by flying toilet.

shipping address.

billing address.

payment in...

what.

$10 shipping. for a tshirt? that's 50% of the shirt right there! i may be doing well for myself but i can't pay $30 for a cotton tshirt. it's not like i'm the great gatsby.

cancel order.

the unspoken protocol

there is an unspoken, but widely understood, protocol that when you go to a gym, you are trying to best the person next to you. lift more than them. run faster than them. show off your physical prowess, even if you have to hurt yourself in the process. even more so if there are desireable persons in the same room, you are flairing your feathers. you are always competing with the person next to you whether you want to or not; the gym is a social ritual of genital measurement.

i walked into the gym today knowing this with intent to smoke the shit out of the person on the adjacent treadmill.

i got stuck on the middle treadmill with a hot girl on my left and a big muscle guy on my right. i had something to prove. i could not win against the muscle guy in a bout of fisticuffs, but hell, i'll take him in a sprint down the parkway. i hear this talent is cherished by hot girls somewhere in the world where this is a serious occupation. but here, i was going to flair my feathers.

i had a cheesesteak and a snickers bar today. i was ready to rock. amazing how fast the predator has turned into the prey.

six miles per hour at 1.0 incline. i brought my 'a' game and was moving along at six point one miles per hour at 2.5 incline after warming up. yes, my friends, i went six point one. this is not a petty thing per se, because i pace myself at a sustained six one on inclines. and even then, my incline was like 250% of his.

but wait, i looked at her screen and she was rocking along at seven and half miles per hour at no incline.

oh.

then she started doing sustained sprints at nine and a half miles per hour. let me break this down for you: that's pretty close to a 6 minute mile. that's an incredible pace. that's a pace that professionals run. like professionals in a part of the world where this is a serious occupation.

oh.

well, she certainly displaced more water volume than i did today.


p.s. all of this was exaggerated for your entertainment. but i still got totally smoked by the girl.

something is awful dot com

nine megs.

on pace

to post every goddamn day of this month.

new hobby of the month

sign language. i'm going to learn sign language. so i can communicate silently across long distances, even.

i just need to find somebody to communicate with.

attention

we have a korean, choi, in the homerun derby. in america. now, i've seen everything.

also: lots of <3 for the abreau homerun hitting clinic.

watermelon + vodka

we're definitely doing this for the party.

samus before the missiles upgrade

hot katamari action

can't wait.

othello

it's like the oc but with more royalty dying.

mango nectar

is the juice of the gods. i'm sure jesus is sipping some right now. here's to you.

we love katamari!

is out in japan.

le sigh.

running

i'm considering getting new running shoes.

i've been training to run 5k at roughly 2% incline on the treadmill lately. i think training at higher inclines would lead to a stronger 5k performance in the real world.

of course, i don't really have anything to train for. the next 5k that i know of in the city won't be until september.

lance armstrong

is a goddamn genetic monster.

his lungs use much more efficient use of oxygen than the rest of us.

his body produces much less lactic acid in his muscles than the rest of us.

his body removes lactic acid from his muscles much more efficiently.

he can push his heart out to 190 bpm.

only one more race and the greatest athlete of our times will professionally retire.

i must be the only straight male...

not afraid of admitting that this is on my tv right now.

interesting

let's talk about kitchen essentials

here is a short list that any "supreme cuisine" kitchen cannot do without:

• splatter guard: must-have if you do a lot of frying and you don't want oil on all of your kitchen surfaces afterwards.
• marindes: so important. worchester sauce, chinese marinades, thousand island dressing, cumen, garlic powder, bbq sauce, chili sauce.
• herbs and spices: if you are just starting out, get a basic spice bundle.
• black pepper grinder: freshly-ground black pepper is awesome.
• lots of kosher salt
• meat thermometer: must-have for oven work. especially one with a long probe that you can use outside of the oven.
• lots of tin foil

he's back!

who would've thought the parts of a lightbulb would make a fine lockpick?

yum

that's two days in a row that i made pancakes using lactaid.

10 minute rocketman!

he can do it because he's elton john.

awesome live 8 panorama

aftermath

so i walked down the parkway a little bit to take a look at the aftermath and i'm pretty surprised. it was clean. it was like there was no music festival yesterday. the city did an excellent job cleaning up the place.

yesterday, i was wearing sandals and was afraid i was going to get cooties on my feet from all the trash. (i did see several used condoms in the parkway. ewww.)

yeah so live 8

so i got in to see the tail end of it. by the time i got in, most of the people were leaving. i think most of the people left after the amazing linkin park/jay-z set.

it was amazing. it was like a sea of sweaty under-30 humanity. philly was on its best behavior. they definitely trashed the shit out of the parkway though. afterwards, we went to fado bar/restaurant and hung out.

i'm wondering where we put the usual parkway homeless. maybe we chloroformed them last night and dropped them off in trenton.

all in all, i don't think this concert will do much politically. you're stupid if you think we can eradicate poverty in the african continent when we can't do it here. noble, but ultimately naive.

edit: not racist.

hot

that linkin park/jay-z set was hot.

still in the apt. had to go the gym. on my way out... for like the final few sets.

oh god, it begins

i've got adam down there in the mix of things.

i'm too lazy/tired to head out and take a look.

there's a constant drone of overhead helicopters.

five day weekend?

hell yes.